September 27, 2016


12:39 AM EST


There's a lot of pictures of pretty girls with tattoos on motorcycles or by pools, or in the gym, on the Internet, and you'd think it might get old after awhile... but it doesn't.


September 25, 2016


11:03 PM EST


At one point in your life you may realize that the people who challenge you the most and make you feel small, you cannot live with them around, but I implore you... your best moment in you maturing as a human being will be when you realize you can't live without them around.


September 23, 2016


7:54 PM EST


Desire is the smoky door beyond which the abyssal maw stands before you... and all this is illusion born of the fear that there is something within you which you lack, and you believe it so deeply, the gaping maw becomes an endless throat into the belly of the beast, the manifestation of all you fear... but if you slow down, accept, embrace, and let go... the smoke will clear, the door will shatter, the maw will collapse, and all that shall remain is the truth... all is illusion, all but the oneness of all things, all else is a lie. There is no lack, there is no loss, there is no abyss for you to cross... whatever you want, put it down, it wants its claws in you, and all you desire shall eventually drag you down into the darkest depths... be the master of your wants, your desires, there's beauty which awaits beyond the fire.


September 21, 2016


10:04 PM EST


They say man is created in God's image... perhaps therein lies a lesson for humanity... that perhaps it is our role to perfect ourselves through self mastery of our emotions and fashion a new image through raising our vibration beyond this world... thus God becomes simply an ascended being and all we are is God before that ascension... and if that is the case, then the linear way in which we approach life, and the reality has been wrong all along.... we aren't in pursuit of a runaway cosmos, but a runaway self... in Zen they talk about catching the bull that is the mind... what if the universe is simply an outward manifestation of that mind? what if inherently, the universe and mind are not separate at all, but a reflection of the same illusions?


September 20, 2016


8:09 PM EST


People say a lot of crazy, irrational, illogical things... to not call them on when one must would be inhumane. After all, when an immature person is shown their reflection, it's they who crack, and not the mirror. Like Leonard Cohen said, "There's a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in." Nothing truly beautiful is perfect. The flaw is the mark (and guarantor) of human inspiration.


The Aristotelians (and Renaissance writers) had the idea of the sub-lunary sphere, where everything was subject to birth, death, disease, destruction, constant change which forced it back into its constituent elements; and the super-lunary sphere where nothing changed. God inhabited the latter.


"Out of the crooked timber of humanity, no straight thing was ever made," wrote the German philosopher Immanuel Kant. He is alluding to the same idea, and extending it in line with his intuition about the relationship between human perception (flawed) and what can be expressed about the universe (dependent on human perception).


It's not clear that Cohen is picking up on Kant, but if he is, he is turning the idea into poetry.


The Navajo, after weaving a perfect rug, would interrupt one stitch to let the world in. The Chinese potters of some lost and ancient dynasty, having finally completed a flawless work, would create a small chip to let their soul out.


There's a book published years ago in Canada called "Leonard Cohen: Prophet of the Heart" written by a graduate student. Lots of insight into so many of his early songs and into what makes him tick. I might have to seek that out.


8:21 PM EST


I think Leonard Cohen is Anthony Bourdain's father, and no amount of facts will dissuade me


8:33 PM EST


Horror hides behind a mask of beauty... that is why innocent dolls are creepy, and horror dolls are cute. And why women shouldn't wear make-up. I think it's twisting their minds toward the insanity of false self acceptance, fueled by a shallow and consumer driven society that thinks only of itself.


September 18, 2016


2:53 PM EST


I don't think I understand record grading... so often I see someone post something as VG+ and say "It plays beautifully!" and I'm thinking, then why did you rate it VG+? I mean, what would you have said for a NM? It will make you orgasm and fall to your knees in prayer?


5:07 PM EST


Jesus wept, the truth, it crept, and deep in prayer I thought nothing's left, but to desire, something higher, is this just how I'm wired? I'm too damn tired. I can't go on, I can't go back, how can I fill this void, this endless lack? Perhaps it's an illusion, perhaps it's fear, perhaps I don't know how to love what I hold dear. I sit in wonder, this glorious life, caught up in the war of who's wrong and who's right. I feed the right wolves, I take the right roads, but can't seem to figure where anything goes. Or how anything grows. I give in to rhythm, I give in to night, but it's time to listen and embrace the light. 


3:20 PM EST


September Resolution... enjoy a 1:1 ratio of hour to dollar for everything you spend money on in your life... minimum... now this doesn't mean expense = quality, we all know the best things in life are free, but if you bought it, give it the time it deserves. 1 hour per dollar.


7:13 PM EST


Just remember that every T-shirt you see for sale on Facebook cost two dollars to make


7:48 PM EST


Retroactive statement: To clear the slate on everything I've ever said in my life that contradicted something I said or am soon to say, instead of saying conveniently that I have evolved on an issue, I've always hated that response, even though it is fair to change an opinion based on new information, I'd rather confess to being a compulsive liar. It just sounds like more fun...


September 15, 2016


3:59 PM EST


In science fiction, aliens are often gender fluid... this is what we are becoming, at least intellectually... physiology is being undermined by psychology, and I have to wonder if people are getting somewhere, or diving deeper into delusion.


7:00 PM EST


I keep watching people play, parts I've seen before
Seeking only to reveal the love we came here for


9:44 PM EST


Faith isn't for when the miracles happen. It's for when they don't.


September 14, 2016


9:01 PM EST


Do you ever feel you've reached a point in life where everything you hear and say are things which you've heard and said countless times before?


5901 PM EST


The rips in my jeans resemble the cracking and splintering of the world when the cenobites make an appearance in a Hellraiser film.


September 13, 2016


2:54 PM EST


I have friends who tell me they don't dream when they sleep... and I imagine on some level they do wish they did, as if viscerally they long for another world to compare to this one... to them I recommend reading... quickest way to discover a new world.


2:57 PM EST


If you're terrified of Ouija boards, you should also be terrified of Hellraiser boxes.


5:06 PM EST


Life is a race between what will kill you first... the government or fear of the government.


9:16 PM EST


Hellraiser 4 is to horror what Division Bell is to Pink Floyd... they both had material come after, but the wise realize, this is truly where they ended.


10:36 PM EST


I've decided to cut my Hellraiser marathon short... honestly, part 5 and beyond are kind of a waste of time... enjoyable in their own peculiar way to watch once or twice, but I have much better things planned... so a show I've only seen a few episodes of that were really good I'm going to start watching from the beginning: Supernatural is up next


September 12, 2016


12:40 AM EST


People who complain that Sinister 2 was pointless because it told us nothing knew about Baghuul are lucky they weren't around to see 3 Hellraiser films go by before we learned anything about Pinhead.


9:04 AM EST


When something posted seems a grave injustice, it should trigger your desire to fact check, not your desire to rage.


September 11, 2016


12:26 PM EST


It is not my job to fix you, it is my job to love you. To care for you. To share with you, so we both have the space to grow.


9/11 was the largest act of terrorism to take place on American soil in my lifetime. It was also 15 years ago. But pain doesn't wear a watch. It doesn't know the passing of time. It stays forever. Until we learn and grow from it. In some countries, terrorism at this level is a near daily occurrence.


Perhaps today isn't just a reminder of those brave Americans of all nationalities who died trying to save so many of our fellow countrymen, but a realization that as a global community, divided we truly will fall. Changing others to meet our ideologies is not how you respect your own divine calling. We are not all meant to think alike, but we are all meant to love alike. We must find a way to put this jigsaw puzzle back together, recreate Pangaea within, even as our continents drift apart.


To stop looking at the color of our skin, and start caring for the content of our character. The Earth is a living community, and life is its nuclear family... even in The Bible it is stated, "If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand." Mark 3:24. That does not mean we all cling to the same ideas, but rather that we share in our ideals. An idea is not a life raft and we are not lost at sea, that is the mind of fear at work. We must evolve thinking of the heart.


Our love must be the shining beacon on the hill, not for just ourselves, our families, or our countrymen, but for all creatures great and small. I am quoting many here, because it is out of the many that we realize the Oneness that has always been. I'm not saying anything that hasn't been said before. But today there is a powerfully growing tyranny in the world, in an ancient desire to convert, and yes we must rise up against it, when it exists abroad or at home. And right now, we face it everywhere. So I understand the fear. Fear is the ocean, but love builds bridges, and minds craft boats, and we can overcome this, but the only way we have a shot is by working together.


It is not my job to fix you, it is my job to love you. To care for you. To share with you, so we both have the space to grow.


7:34 PM EST


If you think the only reason I watch a political channel that happens to be run by a pretty girl is because she's pretty, yet want every overweight girl to be loved for what she is inside, you aren't for equality, you're just bitter. And you're insulting my intelligence. Face it, some people really are the complete package of both smart and beautiful. How do you think cats became so popular?


September 10, 2016


2:00 PM EST


Watching a bag tumble from one side of the street to the other, moving only when the wind picks up, like a dancer eagerly awaiting the music.


2:19 PM EST


The Wizard of Oz is at its core, a sober and rigorous look at God and religion... in a way Dorothy getting swept up by the tornado and winding up in Oz is very similar to Dante's Divine Comedy when one awakens in a dark and unrecognizable forest... it is a heroes journey... and like all heroes journeys, though the terrain may vary... ultimately they are timeless and priceless teaching tools for humanity... In The Wizard of Oz, each character has an emptiness within, a sense of lack... and they pray to God/Oz to make them whole again...


2:50 PM EST


Cremation is selfish... I say give the cute critters a farewell feast. A thank you for all their work in maintaining our beautiful home...


9:55 PM EST


Approach writing on the computer as if you are playing music on a piano. Gather focus and flow, feeling and love and let go... Imagine your words are a dance, your meaning is music... perhaps it would then be impossible to write anything of substance, or perhaps we'd take greater care that our communications were more loving... We would lighten up in regard to ourselves, a typo would be part of the dance, the fingers would romance the keys, the breath and body would come inline, I won't overthink it, I'll just leave you with this pursuit to practice and enjoy...


September 9, 2016


1:24 AM EST


The mind seeks out connections like landmarks in uncertain terrain... and the brain works so quickly that it hastens to filter out those things which do not fit, and quickly connects simple ideas like a memory game in order to create continuity and safety within the conscious mind... but it is all a game we play with our own heads to placate fear... for example, I've been watching Gilmore Girls on Netflix and the daughter's name is Rory... and tonight watching The Conjuring I note the child ghost's name is Rory, and my mind immediately seeks to bridge these two things as if to triangulate the self like a captain at sea steering by the stars... and sometimes the connections are so persistent, seemingly perfect, and consistent, even so specific as to be uncanny... perhaps it is not just fear but love as well, or any powerful desire which becomes a sort of fuel for projection...


Fun! Isn't the brain cool?


1:28 PM EST


Somehow I got stuck with the parallel universe in which there's no James Bond movie in 2007, 9/11 happened, Michael Jackson lost his nose, Whitney Houston was a crackhead, and Hitler... but if Stephen King's 11.22.63 taught me anything, it's that profound struggle creates hearts with profound love... so I fear for those worlds where Utopia exists, apathy reigns, inspiration is an unknown. Love needs a catalyst.


September 8, 2016


Like a leaf on water, sometimes gets stuck on a rock and just dries in the sun... some thoughts go unsaid, some songs go unsung... 
and they just dry up under the heat of our guilt, and I don't want our leaves to miss out on that great journey down the river of life's dreaming...


3:35 PM EST


I think someone should make an animated film about the anthropomorphism of a living swastika family, exploring the entire history of the swastika from ancient Roman and Hindu symbols of strength and peace and beyond, to the Nazi's perversion into a symbol of hate... all told from the perspective of the swastikas themselves... and where perhaps the swastika goes from there... delving into the origin of ideologies, of symbols and how people use symbols to connect to the divine, and how perhaps in the end the swastika has been so wounded by its history that it must leave this mortal coil to a land beyond symbols, much in the way that Frodo had to leave Middle Earth after his adventure with The One Ring... In a way, the Swastika is Frodo... hmmm...


September 6, 2016


9:31 AM EST


We comb the knots out of our cat's fur, so that they will comb the knots out of our heads.


10:47 AM EST


Just a few years ago, records were something you could collect because you were an artist, had taste, and little money... today to get the great deals though takes a lot of work. The vinyl resurgence has raised the prices across the board, but it is nice seeing people return to a more analog, wave-life existence... it's like returning to the sea, and for those of us without an ocean nearby there's always music, and the great ocean of space overhead to dive into...


September 5, 2016


I find the older I get the more I agree with Prince that the Internet is not as great as we once thought... I mean, look at it this way. Humans are connected to the Earth because we are Earth. Altered by the oceans, our core of water and blood and energy flows through us in a microcosm of fractalized rivers ... the nervous system, the neural impulses... connectomes, blood flow and the breath... we are the earth, and we exist in waves. The Internet exists in ones and zeroes. Humans relate deeply with the waves of analog music. The binary meter of digital media was never meant to supplant that, only to be a convenience, but the digital world has imbalanced mankind with nature. Our technology has grown and our spiritual progress, our emotional maturity has faltered in many ways.


I've always believed in the simpler, artistic processes of living, and sought to find peace and inspiration there... through the records that I play, meditation, candles, and in the method in which I do all things... but one area in which I have truly not recognized the largest impact is the internet. If switching from CDs to Records is creating a healthier appetizer, then switching from Internet to Nature is creating a healthier entree.

I do not believe technology is the answer, oh it can be helpful, but it can also be devastating, and capitalized, exploited, and always has... leading to an industrial revolution, and ultimately the destruction of life. We cannot expect the corporations to become responsible without proper regulation, and we cannot expect govt. to demand it, when they are in bed with the corporations.


I do not believe anything can be done at this point. So all I can do is focus on what's here and now for myself.

My life has been online because of my work for years now, and I'm starting to look elsewhere, even though I enjoy the living I make, bringing nostalgia and memories to others, which leads to healing in many ways. Sharing stories, joked and love, poetry and ideas... it's not enough.


A new chapter is coming for me, I can feel it... after all, how can I choose a vegetarian appetizer while eating a meat entree? It's hypocritical and devastating to my own well-being. I must choose the balanced life and only I know what that is for me, and it's coming into focus quickly now.

But for now, as I still work to save to move to San Diego... I do what I must as a means to an end, but hopefully with a little more balance, focus, and joy.




I think when Snowden exposed how the NSA was listening to everybody, showing that "Big Brother" was far more a reality than ever thought, it simply reaffirmed what many of us already knew. Hackers though have been around since the advent of the Internet, actually long before... some good, some malicious... some merely explorers and tinkerers, innovators and inventers... but I've never thought we were safe or private.

People are too trusting to a cute app that steals their info, something as simple as their phone number which sends them to an auto-accept page to sign up silently for a $60 a month credit scheme...


I try to warn people not to use these apps, and the Internet gets clogged with more clickbait, because everyone is desperate to make a buck, so they jump on the bandwagon of get rich schemes that give nothing of substance to mankind.


It becomes nearly impossible to separate the good information from the bullshit, and few fact check, the internet becomes a tornado of noise...


September 4, 2016


We think about how things in our lives have changed so much, from the time we're a babe until we're all grown up. For me it was a pre-Internet time, riding to the library or a tree I could climb. Record stores and hidden creeks, antique stores and abandoned buildings. I lived in direct relation with imagination, the way Native Americans lived with the Earth. We didn't have laces with spines that hold knots in their place. We didn't have bubblegum whose flavors don't fade. We didn't have answers at the tips of our fingers. Cell phones, all night TV, or food better than junk that delivered.


They say enlightenment is peeling the layers of an onion, and recognizing with each new discovery there's another one. But has life changed for the cat? Do they expect more? A new world brings new challenges, as it always has before.


Perhaps this is just what it means to get old, to gather new perspectives and watch your collected yarn unspool. All the things you thought meaningful, the moon and the stars. The childhood romance, the schooling the stance. The awkwardness of touching the girls hips at the dance. The light from the heavens have only changed their name, they don't really have one, but they dance just the same. You go from headbanging to just nodding your head, wake up a little later, a little earlier to bed.


I never napped when I was little, there was always too much to explore. Lee Denton used to ask me, "What do you see in a door?" I'm happy to report I see beauty and space, and so very much more.


In the moment is a communion, that silence is a whisper. It's not the pain or the tingles, it's not the movement of fingers on keys typing slow... but it's in all these things, like a river, and love is its flow. And I love you much more, than you will ever know.


9:01 AM EST


I see people crushing it and I want to be crushing it too, but who has that kind of energy? Definitely not me. Maybe I just don't have it in me to make the kind of progress I want to make, or maybe that's just poor me talk, and I need to stay positive, remember: work for today, so you can work tomorrow... progress comes by the centimeters, not by the feet... consistency builds character and progress.


9:51 AM EST


Life is less about right answers and more about better choices.


11:02 AM EST


The heart in yearning brings diamonds from coal
where love has supplanted hope in the soul.
~Jonathan Berman


September 3, 2016


6:29 AM EST


Choosing Your Mythology


There's a movie on Netflix called /Listening, and with all movies which delve into the esoteric and speculative nature of human capabilities, these topics are dealt with in terrifying ways, which some find old hat, but the truth is, this is how you do harm and good to the study of such practices... one you build interest in them, but also caution, while downplaying their legitimacy and practical application in the real world...


There are many adaptable senses that can contain within them a blending of abilities human kind has barely scratched the surface on, or simply not cultivated due to pursuing materialistic enterprise in a primarily backward society. Things like: Meditation, Remote Viewing, Telepathy, Psychic Healing, Out of Body Experience, Past Life Regression, and much much more...


The human experience is one of direct interaction with the divine, ie the cosmic riddle... but the church becomes a limiter, a chastity belt on emotional and spiritual progress, stunting humanity for as long as it is able to keep and maintain control over society through the manipulation of human attachment...


If they can control your dogma, and the forms of your belief identification, they can convince you of freedom that is merely the shadow on a cave wall, described to you by those who keep you blindfolded... the true seekers must recognize that inherently all forms are void, merely tools to help understand a world that ultimately must be used, recycled, and transcended.


If society cared for your well-being, we would have profit sharing instead of trickle down.

If religion cared for your well-being, we would have meditation instead of prayer.


Do not be haunted by the fear injections of a mythology... the way the world is, is not the way the world has to be.....


Choose your own Mythology. Your own Path. Just make it one of kindness and compassion.


7:20 AM EST


Instead of paying for war and CEO bonuses and bailouts, the government should be paying for healthcare, education, and funerals. A society that asks every last measure from its people should be giving no less... after all, are these not national security issues at their most fundamental level?


4:19 PM EST


A little Zen story I just created, what do you think?


A Zen Master gives two monks $1000, and tells them to represent the Buddha in the Great Hall by hanging a picture. One of the monks buys an expensive lithograph and has it framed in gold. He spends the whole thousand. He hangs it in the Great Hall, and smiles upon it proudly. The other prints out the photo from his computer, frames it in whatever frame happens to be on hand, and gives the thousand to the needy. The Master hugs the first monk, but bows to the other.


When I look in my hall at the picture I printed cheaply, with off center hole punches, my mind thinks, "Ew, I should buy something that looks nicer"... but then my heart says, "No, this is perfect. At least you have a place to hang something, and a message to share."


6:34 PM EST


There is little sadder than finding a half gallon of amazing, delicious, rich, think, organic super creamy chocolate milk, only to discover you'd forgotten you bought it... 3 weeks ago and it's gone off. I believe that's punishable by death in some countries.


6:37 PM EST


I think of all people as belonging to one big family with all the living creatures great and small... if we don't look out for each other, we're never going to make it. Also life is much simpler when you just love everybody and try to be kind and patient and compassionate towards everyone.


9:37 PM EST


Look, The Beatles were gonna break up anyway, stop blaming Yoko... now that that's over, I highly recommend checking out the two albums Yoko released directly after her husband John Lennon's death... you can feel the spirit of John and her love for him through those albums so deeply... they're really quite good... those albums are: Season Of Glass (1981) and It's Alright (I See Rainbows) (1982) I think they'll surprise you.


September 2, 2016


9:02 AM EST


In meditation, one loosens their grip on the veil of illusory need in order to apprehend the beauty of reality as it truly is, and what we have done with the Internet is recreated that cacophonous space as a networked and online experience, and injected ourselves into it and now live there, like Matroyska Dolls... thus the fractal of life spins onward, inward, and attachments, identifications all become greater, further burying the beauty... until the cat bites you and reminds you to feed it and love it, and live again.