January 31, 2017


4:16 AM EST


When we lose faith, we may begin to judge ourselves for all our transgressions, believing, this must be why our faith was taken from us... when in reality, nothing was taken, we walked into fire, we got burned, and now look for something to blame that we can redeem ourselves from in order to be whole once again... but one cannot cut through flesh, pour blood, and cause pain, to be redeemed... one does not get to salvation through the flesh but through the spirit, and if that way is blocked? Then maybe, just maybe, all you can do is listen for that train to come back 'round again...


January 28, 2017


5:00 AM EST


On the Unbearable Lightness of Being


In the '50s to mid '60s, men would sit and polish their shoes, not even necessarily because they needed it, just because there's a comfort in it... these small tasks they watched their fathers perform, fathers who are present no more... the process reflects latent memories and deep feelings... it's visceral. I clean and fill my Zippo for this same reason... get it in working condition, even if I'm not using it for anything... keeping it lit is a sign of respect, that the torch passed down is important to the sons. I keep my grandfather's watch, my great grandfather's fountain pen both in working condition, regardless the expense for the very same reason.... many don't understand this , maybe even most... but they don't have to. The only one who needs to understand us is ourselves.



January 26, 2017


4:42 AM EST


All I know is there's a lot of rich people out there with stacks of money so high they couldn't spend it if they tried, in a world where families are starving, getting evicted, just trying to get by... it just ain't right. Then those rich bastards think they're smart for avoiding paying their federal taxes, hiding their money offshore, they'd rather their money sit; let people die... and then those men become President. What the fuck happened? We aren't educating people right, we aren't regulating business right, we aren't passing laws right, if this is what passes for humanity today.


January 25, 2017


6:29 AM EST


Everyone wanna be all like, lets get along, lets respect each other, when you attack Trump and the people he puts into power... I got an idea, stop mistaking loaded guns in your mouths for Slurpees.


8:06 AM EST


Money doesn't give you security, it just pays for the illusion. For the distractions that help you forget... there's no such thing as security... there's only doing what needs to be done and not. Fuel your passion, not your distraction.


10:27 AM EST


Some people stay right on the surface, I get it there's beauty in watching the waves, dreaming about what's down there... that's how we do when we're kids... but when i grew up, I dove down, I looked deeper... I wanted to know what's in the cake, what's in the dark, what I'm ignorant of, and what it can mean... why I react the way I do, how I can respond with compassion, with knowledge... remember what Socrates said, "The unexamined life isn't worth living."


January 24, 2017


6:42 PM EST


Anais Nin once said, "We don't see the world as it is, we see the world as we are." The way I interpret this is that we can use our interpretations of events, of dreams, and all sensory input and mindful body language, as tools for self diagnosis and care...

We make connections, certain things take center stage, numbers, images, ideas. We connect symbols to the divine, or what we perceive as greater and more inclusive than our own egos, we construct the metaphors by which we explore deeper commonalities between our fellow man, not just of today but of antiquity. Looking for conclusions which serve, but never putting a lid on it, always continuing to grow ideas, looking for new windows of sunlight and truth...



January 22, 2017


4:42 PM EST


The old saying is, "Some people just see what they want to see", but the truth is, it's not just some people... it's all of us. And what makes it fun is that it's not a blanket statement... we're all just more honest with ourselves, maintain less blind spots in certain areas... this is why we're all different, this is why there's so many of us... and we'll keep growing the population until enough reflections are born to get behind every blind spot and every ignorance, until empathy trumps ego, and we all just start listening to each other more as beautifully crucial facets of our universal diamond than as military combatants... the problem is that people lose sight of the truth, of honesty... they forfeit the whole for the fear-induced glaucoma of self preservation born of ignorance and lack... but one day, when the facets are full, the sun is bright, and the drought is longest, suffering and necessity for all in its equilibrium will give even the wealthiest camel the impetus to get through that eye of the needle...there is no other direction to go... it is inevitable... having faith in God's plan means, loving all with the understanding that all things eventually, through empathy or suffering, lead to the same place... water rolling downhill needs no help from us. The grass grows by itself, remember? Let go of judgment, when things go wrong, call it tilling the soil... there is only one puzzle, and we're all pieces in it, regardless of form... I know these are big ideas, to some they're insane, to others, the truth, or ramblings in the brain... love is listening and the listener... all the pain you hold onto? let it go.


All religions and ideas are born out of an understanding, and that understanding gets lost, replaced by what people refer to it as, and what they refer to it as becomes symbols, and if people don't believe in the symbol, they don't look for what it represents...


Ideas like: God's Plan... is a great example of that.



January 20, 2017


2:42 PM EST


No matter what you do, someone's out there trying to convince you it's wrong, it's shameful, people want you tied up in knots, they don't even know they want you that way. It only comes out when you sharin'... everyone wants you successful, they just don't want to lift a finger to see it happen. You're not alone in the grand scheme of things, but in the day to day? In the physical world? Damn right you're alone like a star in the night sky, a zillion miles of nothing all around you... but that's okay... cos you know that "nothing" is empty when your love is there to fill it. You fill it with music, and you listen, and you perceive light all around like the sun ain't a zillion miles away, it's everywhere. You're the empty mirror reflecting that warmth and that heat, and though you see the enemy chattering like a hollow skull robed in the flesh of your friends, you speak directly to the infinite truth that mummifies it in miracles... and sometimes, when you click it all together just right, the mind revolving sets in itself like the perfect lock, and life erupts like a volcano of awareness, and liberation pours forth from the pores like every door opening wide... that's why you do what you do, that's why you suffer faithfully, because you know the Hellraiser box of humanity is a path towards paradise as well, responding instead of reacting, a leaf that lands in the Buddha hand, surrendered of all winds, and every fragile microcosm miracle is you seeing every single droplet of every single sea, reflecting love, eternally.


January 19, 2017


5:42 PM EST


Gender Binary isn't manmade, imho people are just profoundly confused, and part of this overwhelming confusion's blame lies with the sickness of our manmade society that isn't natural, but a diseased structure of ideologies and societal hypocrisies... creating a sense of lack, of not being good enough, of expectations and terrible, psychological abuses and inequalities, rape and fear and privilege... if evolution is your enemy, what is your victimhood?


Is it possible for someone to be born in the wrong body? If you believe in the soul and I do, the soul as far as I am aware has no gender, unless the soul script contains within it the gender choice, and then the gender foreman manufacturers the gender over the template of the physical body using the plans the soul brought with it... who knows?


If psychosis is broadly defined as "an abnormal condition of the mind described as involving a "loss of contact with reality," then surely recognizing 31 "genders" without any evidence is it not a form of this mental disorder? Has our society become mentally unhinged? Why are we forcing this disconnected view from biology of human sexuality on our children and in schools? This unsound thinking has managed to decouple the language of human sexuality from the physical world. When words have a confused meaning, or that meaning is controlled by the few, then it follows that one's thoughts aren't clear and behaviour can be uprooted from any connection to reality and the past. To accept this world view at will is to risk the human ability to function and interact with some degree of normality. It's against common sense and reason. And this is why the acceptance of "gender fluidity" at will must be rejected. It paves the road to insanity.


January 18 , 2017


3:42 PM EST


We live in a country that fought against slavery and prejudice to create equality, and in return we were given the illusion of one man, one vote... the illusion of governmental, corporate empathy... when the truth is an electoral college that trumps one man, one vote. Trickle down economics instead of profit sharing.


What we need is a new age of enlightenment. One in which all are recognized as integral to the whole. Necessary components. Siblings in the same family, and if we cannot come together to realize the reality of Oneness that exists, we will face changes of which we are unable to adapt. We will face the next extinction and nature will have to try again. Pushing sentiency, hoping for another shot at surviving beyond the starting area we call Earth.


Imagine if you played an MMO and never got out of the starting area... that's where humans have been for the past 250,000 years... we're like baby birds in a global nest, and one of these days the earth is going to kick us out, and whether we survive depends upon if we're ready to take flight...


To get there, we must work together.


7:42 PM EST


There are those who I might call Liberal if not for this one anomalous trait they always seem to be exhibit... when I am taking a stand for someone's rights, they attack me, saying I'm being judgmental... they seem to always miss the forest for the trees... perhaps they are too afraid to stand up for anything... but I have never been afraid to say this is what I believe. I have always been outspoken, some would say to a fault... but better to speak the truth always, with kindness, and be misunderstood and claim cruelty, than to try to make everyone happy and claim cowardice.

I do believe there are people worth fighting and dying for.

There will always be those who misunderstand, and I will continue to do my best to be articulate and forthright, but ultimately, I will never be perfect, words will always have two meanings, and as I pursue a compassionate, empowered path for all, I understand some will get it, some won't, but as I refine, so does my circle of friends, refined down to those who believe as I do that we are all one family. One light. And One Love.


9:29 PM EST


Beauty is not something you touch.
Beauty is that which touches you.


1:11 AM EST


Protect all forms of goodness and beauty that differs from your own, for in them grace abides. They are the keys of every door, the light in the darkness forevermore.


January 17 , 2017


1:36 AM EST


The validation you seek lies in the clear reflections of your own senses.


6:15 PM EST


I believe the world would make a lot more sense if you replaced situational comedy laugh tracks with porn music, and replaced porn music with situational comedy laugh tracks.


January 13 , 2017


2:07 AM EST


I used to think it was painfully clear, but now I realize it's actually a boon of fortune! Never before in my lifetime that I can remember, was there a clearer barometer for insanity than we now currently possess... and it's so simple. If you are a Trump supporter, you are insane. And if you think it's insane to use a blanket statement like calling all Trump supporters insane? That's because you're not just insane, you're deluded too. Now, you'll ask, who am I to make such bold and offensive statements? Well, it's called the voice of reason.


You see, at some point those who fight against the tyrannies of evil must step up and say enough is enough. Those with clear hearts and eyes must lead towards the light, when all the powers that be, the journalists and forces of great influence are dragging the innocent, the impressionable and the stupid down into the abyss.


In the fight of David vs Goliath, David didn't "Give Goliath a chance", when a bear is threatening to kill you, you don't "give the bear a chance"... when the rapist has his way with you, and the door is open a crack, you don't neglect to run because you are giving the rapist a chance to not kill you and show he's a good guy... use your eyes people, see what is right in front of you, and stop making excuses for bad behavior.


Trust your heart, what you know to be true... Trump has a long history that is selfish, greedy, and inhumane... check out the documentary on Youtube called Hyper Normalisation... educate yourself about the facts... shine a light on the path and walk with your eyes open... if you close your eyes and ONLY walk in the faith you are walking out of balance... walk with faith in one hand, but reason in the other...


God gave you these gifts to create balance and harmony... don't renounce them! Don't squander them on false prophets and false leaders... We deserve better than Trump. We have evolved beyond his kind. emotionally, spiritually... and the world needs better... and we must demand better of our leaders and of ourselves. The world really is at stake. We must learn to see with loving eyes, not fearful and divisive eyes.


Before it's too late, we must choose a better way. One that our children, our ancestors can be proud of... is Donald Trump that man? Because I don't believe he is. Perhaps really no man or woman is right to lead 350 million people... perhaps we shouldn't have a President... or a God, or a savior... no single entity who solves all our problems, or becomes the target of all our hate... at some point we must recognize that we are all together... but if we are going to vote a President, shouldn't it be someone who is the president of all Americans? ... is Donald Trump that man? Because I don't believe he is. And if we all recognize that we are One, isn't it only right to expect an enlightened vision from the one we vote in to the highest office in the land?

So you see, we must choose wiser. Because we know better... now we must live by what we know, and be better.


January 12 , 2017


12:25 PM EST


Morning Thoughts... morning prayers...


The best thing is to wake up, happy because you appreciate everything you have in life... not because something is going well, but simply because, not worrying about everything that isn't ideal, because you're here, and music is rolling through your blood, light is streaming through your windows, dreams are streaming through flesh and bone like you're panning for gold in the cosmic memory... and it's all gold baby. Gold and Water, like love and light... and to top it all off... it's raining. It's been awhile since I really, I mean truly embraced the rain... every sound shimmers against her body, every beautiful shadow and form sharpened by the wind having blown off the haze... those summer nights that time travel to winter's end... I'm either manic, or just so very thankful right now. Or maybe it's lack of oxygen at this altitude... but for the health of my family, the love of an amazing woman, the strength of my business, the hill is steep, and climbs ever higher... but right now not at the summit, but some random peak or crevasse, looking out, I sure do love the view.


3:03 PM EST


The yogi is one whose peace of mind is no longer disturbed by the chaos around him/her... an art I called Social Alchemy 25 years ago... it must be our aim to empower ourselves and others... to teach that we can be more than leaves blown on emotional winds... reactionaries, chasing perceived good, running from perceived bad, but utilizing our own ingenium to see all things as opportunities for growth...


January 11 , 2017


8:48 AM EST


If you want to be famous, say something stupid.
If you want to be happy, say something kind.


12:56 PM EST


They say when the meteor that killed the dinosaurs hit the earth, it impacted 5 miles beneath the surface within a second of impact, and rang a global tone in C# ... for a million years.


January 9, 2017


12:52 PM EST


Synchronicities. The opportune moment the cat meows at you mid-thought, the frozen screen finger pointing to a clue, the odd random but way too perfect connection... it's almost as if God is always leaving us a trail of breadcrumbs...


1:04 PM EST


Follow the breadcrumbs of truth, not the hollow words of the hateful.


3:08 PM EST


If someone says "You don't get it", but they can't explain it... then they don't get it either.

Feelings are the shadows of ignorance... fight or flight, misinformation, lack of information... trusting feelings to ascertain facts is delusional. I trust my feelings in all things subjective, but I don't let them anywhere near objectivity of scientific endeavor.


January 8, 2017


2:33 AM EST


Life's too short to live it all in baby steps... remember to dance a little, as silly as you want to... run, skip, tumble, move like you appreciate your life. No matter what you're going through...


10:03 AM EST


My response to anything insanely stupid people say is, "Seems reasonable", because honestly, I find life much more enjoyable if I just accept the inherent insanity of mankind, and don't let it get to me so much... live your love, and embrace chaos.


I mean, the things people say... like irrigation steps are built by ancient giants, or mercury in retrograde, a planet 40 million miles away having a direct impact on them, the list is endless the truly silly things people believe, but I believe all kinds of silly things, in fact one could say every belief is a silliness that either helps us move forward or keeps us in the dark... but ultimately, all silliness.


January 7, 2017


1:31 AM EST


Be Mindful of the Story.


Caring towards others in this world is so often simply the subconscious act of one who feels they have something to gain.

Violence towards others in this world is so often simply the subconscious act of one who feels they have something to lose.


True caring is a byproduct of a deep desire to reconcile all things as inherently drops in a single ocean.


Once you realize how we are all connected, it is not a matter of gain or loss, but a recognition of pain in the universal body.


If everything is a reflection, and every reflection is a story... be mindful of the story.


7:12 AM EST


It seems some people are simply eager to jump on anything another does wrong because it makes them feel better about themselves. But in those moments, one should always look with the heart of compassion before they leap with the claws of the ego... and when you are leapt upon, as it's always bound to happen... don't dig yourself into the hole of incorrigibility, rather meditate upon the issue of focus, understand what it means, so that in response, you don't do the same.


January 6, 2017


10:26 AM EST


It's good to know that different things mean different things to different people. For example, to some people when I say I love you, they hear Go fuck yourself. I think with those people you should go right for the go fuck yourself, cos then maybe you'll be so on the nose with their expectation that they'll get liberated and all the barriers of communication will dissolve like cotton candy in water.


11:36 AM EST


If a friend says they're depressed and are willing to try anything, and you out of love, offer some kind suggestions, and they freak out accusing you of being cruel and hateful for commenting... and another friend says they aren't surprised you would be so judgmental and hateful... these aren't friends, these are trauma survivors. They shouldn't be online, they should be at a spa retreat taking care of themselves.


January 5, 2017


2:57 AM EST


It is often your oldest friends who see you least clearly, for they can only see your past self in the present and judge you not by your intentions, but by the difficulty in their projections. In this way you become their worst conclusion in light of their perceived perfection. Do your best, and if your best be seen in false light, look for warmer lighting. Most people think they see the whole picture, because they caught a glimpse of one corner.


Recently I had a friend I've known for 20+ years, who posted on Facebook, "Does anyone know what TMS is, I'm very depressed and am willing to try anything..."


And when I responded, Hey, I don't know what TMS is, but you might be able to find a support group for it on Facebook, and if you're really feeling that badly I'm sorry, this is what I do that usually helps me, and I gave her some ideas...


Her response was that somehow my comment was judgmental, and cruel... it blew my mind, but I understand, she was in a very bad space, and unable to hear a friend.


The problem is, another friend I've known even longer, jumped on my back, taking her side immediately, but this is a friend who tends to take the other side against me for some reason time after time, so I unfriended him finally after all these years, because they simply cannot see me, the good person I am, the caring person... not the perfect person, but the real person who tries...


And it seems so many simply jump to a conclusion based on the imbalanced heresy of the one... until it feels everyone has turned against you... but none actually talk to you to find out the truth, or the other side of the story.


It's like people don't understand they're kicking people when they're down, and then so many young ones commit suicide because they can't handle this. I have been very fortunate to somehow be able to handle this type of abuse... but that's because I suffered and lived on the street, and did my best, and cultivated a knowledge about myself that can repel their insults and wrong conclusions... I can say, hey, that's not me... I know myself. I'm not this person you claim me to be. But of course it still hurts a lot when someone you care about can't see you, and concludes such wrong and terrible things about you.


I just wish I could be there for them, and for those who don't have my strength, but sadly, it seems impossible to change their minds, that have already been made up... you can't force someone to empty their cup, they have to be willing to consider maybe they have it wrong, or they'll never see things another way, or how hurtful they're actually being.




My new year's resolution is to speak in a way that hopefully supports people in understanding me better... I seem to run into a lot of misunderstandings. And I will do my best to take responsibility where I can enlighten the situation through my heartfelt sincerity and clarity... so often people don't understand help or silliness... I hope I can make strides in the pursuit of this goal.


5:23 PM EST


People think the internet is a lake, but it's a mirror.


6:13 PM EST


Those who hate you will always try to convince you that those who love you are in some way defective asskissers. The true sign of friendship and maturity is for all concerned to take responsibility for their role in forcing the train off the rails, destroying trust, breaking hearts, and opening wounds. If you're the only one taking responsibility, it's most likely you're the only one who actually cares. All they will hear is confirmation bias and projection justifying cruelty. A bully will always try to convince you that you deserve it. Their cruelty is compassion. Their judgment is truth. But if you know yourself, a bully is like Freddy Krueger... if you turn your back on a bully, if you don't believe in them, they cease to exist.


Just remember this quote:

“Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”


January 4, 2017


6:37 PM EST


Just because I don't believe in the story, doesn't mean I don't believe in the glory. Truth is not a stone that sinks, but one that skips upon the surface of the water, that reflection of our inner search... the only truth is that which clarifies, reconnects, unifies, through the understanding that divinity and union are not created, they are merely... rediscovered.


January 3, 2017


2:05 AM EST


Went to bed alone.
Woke up feeling you were beside me.
I even moved out of your way to rise.
Then realized it was only the echo of love
that had become more real to me
than the substance of the world.


9:24 AM EST


Quick improvised audio to text prose just to see what the phone interprets...


The problem with the world is the black and white swirl, where one things good and one things scary she's been sweetening the land line breaking free of the contrary. Temples in the stars looking out because the questions are all about, of the people in the things that they sample that could teach Christian doctrine without lifting a Bible, but in town a little tea should send them town to town I got a round kick of houses on an open side sleep I got rich to see just get tasty an dream and then knows what you did, cats nose which is so, know that you do with the news what is wrong, lucky in love and see Jupiter.


9:37 AM EST


My tentative new definition:

Insane is the inability to embrace one's inner crazy.


9:51 AM EST


Most people enjoy a lake because the way blood flows, the water flows, letting the mind go with it. Forming rolling ripples, carrying sticks, skipping stones, lifting life and forging new lands. Creating meditative music whose touch thrills the soul into a state of calm abandon.


When I am with you the lake is redundant. Two lovely sisters one form of flesh and one of earth, each the other's reflection of perfection, hiding and holding up washed treasures of memory, and those of us blessed to look into that lake, into those eyes, receive their miracles.


I love you Linda Sennett


1:14 PM EST


Don't let your ideals become ideologies.


January 2, 2017


8:42 PM EST


I love that my mom noticed I wore grandpa's favorite coat this New Years.
I love that I can say what I mean better with kisses than with words.
I love that Linda and I saw deer again this trip.
I love that when I don't know what to say, feeling becomes the companion to silence.
I love that I was one of the lucky ones to find love.
I love and that will always be enough.


8:55 PM EST


Think i'll make it an early night, lots of work to do tomorrow and I'm still processing the love letter memories from my time with Linda this week- I miss her already.