April 1, 2018
The problem with cats is that they think their food is for them and so is ours. It's like they know we have to eat, but fuck it, you can have my leftovers and be happy about it, the same way they treat other cats.
It's not personal, cats are just very selfish when it comes to food. And they want it before they even know if they want it or not, they just know when food is around. Any food, and they own all the food, cos they're cats.
I dunno, I blame the Egyptians. It's gotta be some ancient ingrained bullshit passed down from generation to generation, and it probably doesn't help that we absolutely let them get away with whatever they want. And humans are tone deaf when it comes to recognizing power plays from the animal kingdom, so we are constantly giving up our personal power, so we shouldn't be surprised when the cat we'd lay our lives down for, our babies, our children, demand everything from us, because we tell them it's theirs.
We need healthy boundaries. Oh, I'll still share any food I have with my cat, absolutely, of course, I'm not a bad parent, but I don't let them grab it out of my hand, okay I do, but if they get up in my face I say no, if they pull on my hand I usually bring the food to 'em to see if they want a bite. Why not? And I always check to see if they want more and if they do I oblige 'em.
Humans eat too much anyway, and cats don't live that long, make 'em happy.
Trust me, if you do you won't regret it, because no matter how much of a badass you are, that one time you're depressed and the cat kicks it with you like he understands the core of your torment, you'll feel like your cat is a miracle from God. Those Egyptians knew things, and so do cats.
April 2, 2018
It seems the more people we lose the more things we no longer desire, because we connect the things with the longed for experiences of those who are no longer with us, and without them in our lives, the pain takes away the value of the items... perhaps then it is loss that takes us back to how we started... naked in the arms of the great mother.
April 4, 2018
Love is the bodies partner, dancing to the music of time, where the heart keeps rhythm and the mind alights.
April 5, 2018
A strong ego can wrap its head around any thought, but a strong heart can wrap its arms around anyone.
Between the lip line and the outer edge of the lipstick, lies the unspoken... tell the woman you love that you love the actual shape of her lips... that you love her creativity and artistry, but for you it's never needed.
I'd be talking to Linda the last couple of hours... every night I can feel when I'd be talking with her or when she's busy elsewhere. And when I feel that, I slow down, I honor the feeling. I have profound gratitude for what we had physically and what will be with me emotionally for the rest of my life
April 6, 2018
Every convenience is accompanied by a small assault on your freedom of choice, expression, and art. Choose your conveniences wisely.
I have learned never watch trailers and embrace uncertainty... for that is the road to pleasant surprise, the road we must take to impart the epiphany, the hope and the wonder, the chalice of creation to the Lord, for the all-knowing can experience none of these except through us. If the ideological Jesus is the way for us, perhaps we are the way for God.
April 12, 2018
Tonight I heard a girl tell a story about how her father went to Haiti to visit family members, when men broke in with guns to kidnap the young daughters for ransom, which happens a lot over there... the gunmen told him to get down and he said no because they'd take the girls, and they shot him in the head.
My point is, tragedy happens every day, and instead of giving up or dwelling in our own anger and pain which is really easy to do... we should recognize the bridge of compassion that we now see even more clearly through our pain to another, and maybe in this way the ones we've loved and lost have not been lost for nothing. We must let the memory of the light of their love shine brightly in our lives.
If you're like me and really intrigued by abnormal personality types, check out Catfish Season 2 Episode 10 "Artis & Jess" The guy Justin in the episode is a scary dude... Max looks genuinely terrified of this guy, and justifiably, the guy looks like he could snap at any moment and the only thing holding him back is his own sense of power and intellectual confidence. but he's on a crusade, the guy has clearly had a psychological break probably from finding his father dead at home, if that story is even completely true... I dunno man, you gotta check it out. Linda would have loved this conversation.
April 15, 2018
April 16, 2018
Don't judge me for contradicting myself, the world is a half-lit and murky place... love me for swimming in the strange waters and wanting to talk about the experience and share yours with you... we must be able to talk, and step in shit, and learn by being wrong, because that's how we grow. If I say something wrong, a friend doesn't get angry, they help you wash off your shoe because they give you the benefit of the doubt and know your shoes don't always smell like shit... we only get to the right by working through the wrong.... we are all in phases of maturation, and when we meet the difficult phases with judgment, we stifle growth in each other... we wouldn't do this to the kids we love in their phases, or the cat crying at night or clawing the furniture, because we know the insecure seek assurance, and through love strengthen to grow out of those phases... we must be here for ourselves, for each other, for our weaknesses and our darknesses... because that is where we discover life through a shared light in the murky depths of the half-lit world.
Today, Mariah Carey thanked fans for accepting her with open arms after revealing she is bipolar, and I thought, I love you, you crazy bitch. Butterfly is an amazing work, but seriously, we all knew this twenty years ago and it was never a problem.
Mindfulness is where we become aware of our pain, our uncertainty, and begin to recognize the mannerisms in which we hide. The diagnostic self and the dance ...like a musician we play the instrument that is our life, so if anyone ever tells you that they don't play an instrument you can tell them, well, you just spoke. What percentage of our lives should be spent listening and what percentage should we talk about what we heard? Through the shared tragedy that of the death of Linda Sennett, there has been a paradigm shift in our lives. We will never be the same, those of us who experienced her love, her laugh, her gentleness, her sharp and beautiful mind. She was the most amazing woman I ever met, she never believed me when I'd tell her that, she was humble.I sit with these feelings that are so much bigger than me. And I say that happily, because I imagine the world in which I never got to meet this person, I never got to hold this treasure, and love this amazing woman and her love me, and that is so much worse than losing her, and some might say you haven't lost her, she clearly lives in you, and I think, God, I hope so. So what I'm saying is, perhaps we all have our own way of healing, but for me all I can do is feel everything, and honor Linda's life by absolutely being present in all of this, because when it fades and all memory does, I don't want to think there was a part of our experience I wasn't there for.
April 17, 2018
I was on my way to find you...
The night is still ours my love, my hand still reaches out to take yours in mine
I don't believe in destiny, but with every word you said to me
Our twenty year journey destiny was a closing book, and with a better look, the way we thought, and now I don't know what I've got to do,
but let your beautiful light shine through the reflection of my tears.