January 16, 2018


Sometimes beauty makes us cry,
But only because we need the rain to remind us 
to look up at the sky.




So often we experience the problem without looking for solutions... The man's glasses arms keep falling, but he doesn't tighten the screws. Our strength is to adapt, but we must slow down, be mindful, and look for solutions and not simply react emotionally from the problems.




Within the library of all the things we enjoy, sometimes we must pick the path that is better to us than for us.




"It is great to live by the spirit, to testify for eternity... only what is spiritual in people's minds. But sometimes I am fed up with my spiritual existence... of forever hovering above. I'd like to feel a weight in me... to end the infinity, and to tie me to earth. I'd like at each step, each gust of wind... to be able to say: "Now, now and now." No longer: "Forever" and "For eternity".

—Wings of Desire


Everything we did was in pretense, but it would be nice just to come home, to feed the cat, to have a fever, blackened fingers from the newspaper. To be excited not only by the mind, but by a meal. By the line of a neck, by an ear. To lie. Through one's teeth. As you're walking, to feel your bones moving along. At last to guess instead of always knowing."


Stop here a moment. I often have written it is God it is Angels who should be envious of humans, for knowing everything cuts one off from being pleasantly surprised, from the epiphany, the most passionate of all loves... they must experience these all through us.

We are more blessed than we appreciate.




Perhaps the real concern for contacting alien life isn't that they be monsters, but rather that they simply be like us... aggressive, want to survive, and see us as either food or virus.




January 17, 2018


People get stressed and turn to vices for assistance instead of pursuing with greater passion their great work.... There are powers that want exactly that... for you to be pushed into the quicksand of your vices, and only you can hold on to your virtue, to your birthright to feel, to transcend.




People want to feel better, but they do everything that makes them feel worse, and you can't tell them to stop because they know it's not good for them... so it really becomes more an issue of encouraging each other to believe in ourselves in order to relinquish the tools of destruction for the willpower and opportunity that in their absence, more productive and rewarding tools can and will take their place. This is called education.




I am more open to the idea of transgender truly being x brain born in y body and vice versa than the catastrophe of a miswiring and misfiring of neurons in a maladaptive processing of information... but I am more romantic than realistic. I want to believe. The heart gives in without much fight but the brain wants to understand, and must rigorously question and quest for the truth.


If it is true that say a female brain could be born in a male body, and why not? Hermaphroditism exists.

I think we must consider the possibility that this breaking away from the body-mind dependency points toward a soul, and that is at the heart of the debate truly.


The body being a vehicle and we being the driver. If the brain has a gender template then how can the body develop differently? What tells the body to develop as either male or female? Chromosomes. Female X and Male Y, the pulse of the Tao.


Personally I think it could seem like it would suck to be transgender, you are in the wrong body, like one of those whacky wednesday freaky friday movies - though i am sure if i were a woman brain in a male body i might identify as a balance of both male and female, not a Hell at all but a flow of understanding - i imagine there could be a sort of empowerment to be found there. Ultimately I believe we are all both male and female and as our limiting torturous ideas of what it means to be a man or a woman break down we discover a wider range of emotions and ways of being that truly brings us together rather than sets us apart, are at play constantly in our lives.


I have a feeling that we will not only understand the experience but go even further, but while we live in a world of contrasting schools of thought: 1: I’m a woman in a man’s body and 2: Body dysmorphia is a passing phase you will grow out of, we will be in a very strange and tense place... because I do not believe we have the answers yet. It is not enough for you to say “you know”, knowing is not reality, knowing is subjective, until you can truly express this female spirit in a way that outshines the physicality of your conditional state. Otherwise I tend to see only a lot of dysfunctional behavior masquerading like the shadows of a flame on a cave wall.

People ignorantly believe Jazz Jennings without a doubt is a girl in a boy body but that’s because they have never seen someone transition so young before, as in before male puberty set in, so Jazz has been able to retain a more feminine aesthetic than others, and her entire group of siblings male and female all are very effeminate in appearance any way which is important to note.


I am not sure, but what I do know is that I’m open to whatever the truth is, to help compassionately and with no other agenda than that I care and hate to consider a course that leads inevitably to personal and persisting loneliness and suffering, a slave to appetites, in so deep that clinging to delusion seems like the only answer. I want to believe, but I continue the quest...




As long as I can remember, my email has always told me that it empties the trash automatically after 30 days, but I have never found that to be the case... I have always had to empty it manually, periodically... if I didn't it would be in the bajillions by now, and every time I look there are always hundreds of emails much older than 30 days...




CNN Analysis says: If a government shutdown happens, Republicans will bear the brunt of the blame, and regardless of the facts and how easy they are to prove, Trump will call this fake news, because he has the maturity level of one who can only understand arguments in terms of, " I'm rubber your glue". He doesn't look deeper. He doesn't think it matters. He knows we are living in a polarized, reactionary time and he's exploiting it like the game show host that he is.

Remember, Trump believed the hoax that voter fraud happens because registration census take into account those who moved across state and the recently deceased. Even though those registered ghosts did not in fact vote; meaning no voter fraud. This was a 'throw everything at the wall' moment, and no one really expected anyone to pick it up and run with it, butTrump did exactly that. Yes, he is that stupid and desperate and petty.

Trump is a 'walk like a duck', 'talk like a duck' kinda guy whom the Right call a Golden Goose.




I wonder how proud, BP executives are about their apology tour of TV spots they showed for about a year after their total fuckup where 11 people died, a massive devastation to our ecosystem, likely resulting in BILLIONS of dead non-humans, sacred parts of the food chain that maintain our ecological balance and safety... shouldn't this be a more important and dedicated national security issue? A company that was allowed to simply get away with a monetary fine is proof of corruption at our highest levels.

It came out they cut corners, not the first time. Were regulated by ghosts in the Marshall Islands. Total corruption everywhere, no relief wells mandated, no jail time... in fact they were apologized to by corrupt courts and called too big to fail by sitting President at the time, Barack Obama. Yeah, I imagine they feel pretty good about it.


January 18, 2018




Why do you wake each morning?
Why do you come here each evening?
Looking up into the puddles reflecting eternity
in an empty sky?
Dripping tears for eternities, why, oh why do you come here?
To suffer... to travel... to wander... to wonder...
Oh, why have you come?
Beauty, your only treasure
Love, your only sustenance
And with arms wrapped around us,
my only home
And I your own.


January 21, 2018


By What Are We Being Seduced?


It's interesting to see the way in which stand-up comedy has changed some would say evolved others might say strait-jacketed a little bit, just a little bit with the, what you can't say any more without having your career literally burned to the ground, and I'm not saying the words shouldn't be avoided, and especially the behaviour when it is behaviour and not a joke, not at all, no one has to say offensive words or anything else, not with the best of intentions, and it's not rationalization, people are misunderstanding words because they are words, while being absolutely tone deaf to context, and this armour everyone's wearing right now, because we are wearing armour, and we are at war. There is a psychological warfare going on right now, along with all the physical ones, the fear, the small world hear too much news syndrome, and it's like nobody's wrong, but everyone's got their flame throwers out, and all suited up, with their fingers on the triggers. Ready to blast you for a word, like sleeping drones with word detection. We've all become the NSA, wire-tapping each other's motives, and we've forgotten due process. And I don't know the answer, I really don't. Except maybe to talk about it. We have to talk about it, because you cannot solve a problem until you know there is one. And we have a big problem, problems in this country... And more important ones perhaps, because this problem is actually a by-product of bigger problems. This is like the blood pouring from the gaping wound of America, this distrust, quick to judge, everybody tone deaf and thinking they know it all. Well, know this: Take a breath. Listen to how you feel. The senses were not made to be used independently, but in concert.


I don't think humans were designed to take in as much opinion and news each day as we are. I think our brains are hard drives, and we are overloading them with data transfer, but we do not have the luxury of a computer to simply catalogue the information away, no, we are conscious, emotional beings, so we try to understand it all, make sense of it all. We feel it all. And it's just too much. We need to give ourselves a break from the technology, ironic I know since I'm writing this on my computer, well I don't mean cold turkey, that would be running away from the computer of your own mind... no, just be mindful of when you need a break. You don't need to respond to it all, or click all the links, or watch all the shows, or hear all the stories.... we have created from our gently, flowing stream of consciousness, a grand rapid, I feel it, I'm riding it right now... we all are, always... but they only have the power you give them. Whether it be the appetites you've clung to, been sold to, or adapted to... the power is yours to take back.


And then... again, deep breath, You may discover that the road of simplification has its own lessons to teach you. Its own bounty to share with you, see now I'm just giving myself advice. And I think, I own more things now than any other time in my life, and I'm moving soon, etc. There's a door there, but we'll go down it another time. I just avoid the politics now, it has nothing new to teach me, and I'm really not the activist type, you know, someone with endless amounts of energy and no job. I don't know about you, but I run a business full time, raise my cats, help around a house, try to find time to read, play music, maybe record my second album... it's a lot on my plate, now I'm going to add activism to it? Okay yeah, activism can be little things, you go to a rally or a march or a walk or dedicate some time down at a soup kitchen, donate clothes, and other resources, I do what I can of course, but I could do more.


I believe when we begin to take that road to simplification, (and this is where the thread finally comes first circle), trust me, I didn't think it' would happen either. But, simply put: If you want to hear someone clearly, you don't turn on more radios.


I don't know if we got anywhere with this stream of consciousness rant, I mean look where it started and where we are now? Where are we? At the beginning.


Trust me, I'm reading it again too.


To simplify your environment, first decide that everything should have its rightful place in your home. That will inform you as you go, clearing out, creating a flow and a mood, an environment, and you begin to see what doesn't belong anymore. What you've perhaps outgrown, or simply weren't aware of didn't serve you or weren't really who you are now.


January 22, 2018


People complain and act like victims, while doing all the things that are counter-productive to the very wellness they claim to want more than anything. We give in to appetites and victimization because it's a distraction that works in the short term, creating addictions to keep going. And the Saddest truth is that everyone knows this, but we do it anyway.


Getting into our own heads, thinking we need to figure something out, like a scientist putting the mouse in a maze to seek out some cheese, when we are all three: the scientist, the mouse and the cheese.


January 23, 2018


Amazon's streaming model sucks for the consumer... and Bezos is worth over 100 billion dollars, can't he afford to get us better deals? I either pay $15 to buy La La Land, or $15 a month to HBO for a subscription... there's no cheap rental price I can pay. That to me is going to hurt them later on. This is why pirating movies is still so rampant... if you charged $3 to rent the movie for 24-48 hours, you'd make a lot more money in the long run, treat the customers right, and they will treat you right. As an entrepreneur and small business owner, I absolutely know this to be true.


Now maybe this isn't all Amazon's fault, right, HBO owns La La Land, or is in control of how it's being distributed... and it's not on Netflix, is it On Demand?


On Demand itself is archaic now though... I should have On Demand access on any device.


La La Land is on HBO, not on Demand, we are not subscribed to it, again... HBO has a deal with Amazon, but it's not a deal that treats the customer good at all. It's good for HBO and Amazon, but they're rich... why can't they make a service that's good to the consumer?


I always keep that in mind with my business.


January 27, 2018


One problem today is that people put forth an assertion and then instead of having to express the reality and evidence of that assertion, prove the hypothesis so to speak, we have become so PC that by not simply accepting it at face value is a crime against humanity, worthy of being outcast without due process or actual crime being committed... we have entered times of a very dangerous precedent... this is exactly the sort of thing that sparked witch hunts, and other atrocities throughout mankind's history. Assertion evinced from a stance of authority is a dictatorship of the mind, it is a form of slavery. It's the rule book of religions, of cults, of bigotry, the very things those asserting are trying to avoid... and thus it shows its true colors, a root of fear threaded deep in the mind, and any assertion based in fear, is no longer objective, and must demand rigorous and open debate in order to truly examine, plumb the depths of, and shine any light through toward actual understanding that moves us forward with compassionate understanding and awakening, no matter how uncomfortable it may be.