Reporter: Kupotek

May 8, 2004 08:59 PM
Last Updated: 1/31/2013 11:06 PM EST


Tonight, we go deep inside the world of vampire cats to uncover not only are mutant vampire hybrid egyptian and alien feline assimilating into our western civilization in droves of chaos ridden torrents of secrecy and literacy, but women not only work hand in paw with the cats as familiars, whilst loving men who are similarly devout, and under the spell of the VAMPIRE KITTENS.

Why do you think cats have 9 lives? Because they're vampires. Though I am told by the lovely roving reporter Maribelle that spaniards believe cats to have 7 lives, so obviously all cats want american citizenship.

The Japanese believed in a certain variety of shapeshifting demon that appeared as a cat. This cat often had two tails, and sometimes it could change size and become larger than a person. It was like a vampire, in that its main purpose seemed to be sucking human blood. After it had killed someone, it would be able to transform into an exact copy of that person. It would use this ability to get close to new victims, who would not suspect until it was too late to save themselves.

In Australia, there are already alliances set up to work with the vampire cats, but to what end?

Lore of the Cat

Catlovers say they love cats because they are good companions and useful mousers, or those who hate cats say cats kill or maim birds and are ungrateful or sly. But both statements are rationalizations, for it is obvious that cats excite irrational feelings which emerge from a much deeper psychic level.

The cat has always stimulated people's imagination, attracting to itself a colorful and lively stream of myth, folklore, legend and fairytale. It has had fantastic powers attributed to it which have resulted in its being used in secret rites of both white and black magicians. Cats have never been ignored; people have always felt something about them. In the past, either they were felt to be divine and were worshipped, or else they were considered demonic and were burnt.

Although in the East cats still play a part in religious ritual, it is unlikely that anyone in the West worships cats, in a conscious and literal sense, these days. Nevertheless, black cats are still said to be lucky (or unlucky as the case may be); and many people betray signs of the cult of the cat, making these animals the center of their lives, and treating them with a respect or dread that would seem appropriate only in relation to a supernatural being.

Humans want to know precisely what the cat means to us all; where its power lies and why its image has survived for thousands of years in amulets, folklore and literature. No one seems to have gotten to the root of this, but if a thorough investigation of what all the people have thought, imagined and believed about cats, and are able to get some insight into the significance of it, an answer can be found.

The mass of material that is available seems to divide naturally into the light and dark aspects of the cat's nature and associations - the "whiteness" and "blackness" of the cat's reputation, rather than to its natural coloring.

There is a Celtic belief that cats' eyes are windows through which human beings may explore an inner world. In examining the power that the cat has to raise feelings and to stimulate imagination, one can hardly fail to learn more about human nature in the process.

There were awe-inspiring Egyptian cats who received worship and sacrifice from humans. The cats brought fertility to the fields of suppliant farmers, cats protected the living and the dead from evil, and cats brought healing and happiness into people's lives. As the significance of the beliefs behind these practices emerge, it has much light to throw on the feelings of those who "adore" cats.

Then there are the ailurophobes - those who do not merely dislike cats but experience hate, fear and nausea in their presence. The feline demon comes into its own with its blazing eyes and its monstrous fangs and claws. The devil-cat emerges from the center of sexual orgies of witches' Sabbats and of the ceremonies of black magicians. The vampire-cat sucks the blood of sleeping men, and the feline succubus drain their vitality.

Catlovers and cathaters find that they do come together; for it seems that the cat has not only been thought of as wholly good or evil, but has also been recognized as forming a bridge between the two. This animal has power deeply to enrich our lives if, instead of obsessively loving or hating the cat, humans adopt a realistic attitude toward its paradoxical nature, and allow it to communicate its wisdom.

The symphony of the vampire kitten (COMING SOON)

Types of Vampires -Quote from alleged real vampire

There are two types of vampires roaming the planet. There are your sanguinarians and your psi-vampires.

Sanguinarians are blood-drinkers. And unlike the myths of vampires,they do NOT go around killing people for their blood. They keep a ring of willing donors that willingly donate blood to them. They do not need great amounts of blood,just a small amount,no more than what would fill a shot glass is necessary to them.

Psi-vampires feed on life/pranic energy either by proximity or by touch. When one awakens their body automatically starts feeding on the energy at hand and it could take the young vampire months to realize what they are and how to control their growing abilities. Most prefer to feed from the strong emotions of others and not from the person directly. It is safer for both the vampire and the person(not victim) being drained.

It is easier to know sanguinarians than psi-vampires because you can physically see a sanguinarian drink your blood but it is harder to know a psi-vampire because you can not see them feed. Psi-vampires are responsible for the myths of incubus and succubus.

Vampires falsely have a bad reputation due to myths and movies, none of which is based on fact or reality.

What vampires are not -Quote from alleged real vampire

Vampires are NOT immortal and do NOT live for ever, vampires do look younger than their age and live slightly longer; however, If someone tells you they are 400 years old, they are a poser(a rpger or someone pretending to be a vampire) and lying to you.

Lifestylers who play at vampires because they think it looks cool are not vampires. Vampires do not sleep in coffins. Lifestylers dress in black wear fake fangs and some sleep in coffins and only go out at night.

Posers or RPGers are not vampires, they are role players who play at being a vampire because they think it is a game and that vampires are not real. They have crossed their gaming over into the real world and play at either being a vampire or a HUNTER.

Vampires are not undead walking corpses. Vampires do tend to be aloof because they feel emotionally dead. We prefer to sit back and watch because things are not of importance to us.

Vampires are not inherently evil. It is true that most vampires are not exactly christian but we do try to help others. Just because we must feed from others doesn't mean we were sent by satan or go against nature or god any more than the symbiosis relationship between the shark and the lamrey eel makes the lamprey evil. The eel attaches itself to the shark and feeds on barnacles that try to attach to the shark and leftovers from the sharks meal and in return the shark carries them from place to place.

Vampires are not superhuman, subhuman, or alien. We are human, we simply adapted to our surroundings differently than the normal humans did.

Vampires are not shape shifters. A few of us can assume the form of an animal when we are astral projecting but that is not the same as physically changing form.

Vampires do not go up in flames when in direct sunlight. Because we do tend to be nocturnal our eyes are sensitive to sunlight so we don't go out much during the day by choice.

Several obvious signs of the vampire kitten
10) An innate knowledge of Egyptology which is communicated via a ancient moewing dialect
9) Cats use their eyes to hypnotize inferior mortals to do their evil bidding, and bring them tunas. The cats gaze is very powerful.
8) Vampire kittens have been seen in calico female form, with black mask markings, to help protect them from the bright yellow sun of our planet.
7) A vampire kitten yawns differently then a regular house cat. A housecat will yawn, and look away, close it's eyes, it is a natural muscular reaction, but a vampire kitten will not ! It is said that the vampire kitten has amazing upper body strength!! Be mindful of the vampire kitty.
6) Vampire kittens are always looking out windows, awaiting the arrival of the mothership
5) a ornate whisker growth pattern that directly links the aerial anntennae of the collective unconscious to the divine heirarchy of alien overlord vampirical forces in deep space.
4) Vampire kittens also really like catnip, which shows that perhaps they can be reasoned with, or at least aum'd in to submission, with piles of catnip, strategic stringplay, and tunas.
3) A specific ancient stance seen in old egyptian paintings and murals, long since forgotten by mankind.
2) A love of string
1) Vampire kittens' greatest strength and defense is that no one believes they are real. They intend to keep it that way!

Ways to stave off the vampire kitten

1) Obviously holy water
2) catnip
3) Vampire kittens can be lulled into a sort of hypnotic state thru the strategic dangling of string
Hemp string works very well, but ribbon is fine too
4) Vampire Kittens turn especially vicious when they are allowed to eat tunas, so make sure not to feed them tunas after sundown!!!
5) crosses ()
6) Semi precious gem called the cat's eye can give some protection

Vampire kittens also listen to Evanescence music, but that's only because they have really good taste in music..

Below is not for the feint of heart !!! Parents hide your children's eyes, for what is below will shock some, and horrify others... REAL footage of vampire kittens caught on tape......

(watch footage)

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Amazing vampire kittens
Cat in Myth and Magic
Cat Lore
Cats and Gods
Gallery of vampirecats
Scientists studying vampire kittens
Vampire Kitten contest
Vampire kitten photo gallery

Perhaps the world will never know the intentions of the secret vampire kitten society.. but rest assured.. they intend us NO harm.. I'm Kupotek, roving reporter for the KittySafe Network, saying, sleep tight, and don't let the vampire cats... bite.